23
May
09

Documentary: The Evolution of the Moe Blob [Orange Farm Archive]

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Also known as K-ON 7…

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Almost-Completely-Blob

In it’s youth, the moe blob is mostly mischeivous, and does not contain any especially moe features.  In this form it is almost a complete blob, with nothing to offer the world.  None the less, both troublesome and helpless, natural instincts tell us to like the blob and take care of it.  At this state the most important values are taken on — wait, observe closely…they do not understand that pillows are a pain to replace…but you cannot hurt that pure joy and innocent intent.  You must be careful if you have a pillow around one, as they do like to take the stuffing out.  It is assumed that because pillows are blobbish in form themselves, the blob feels a need to resemble to cute and fluffy things.

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Becoming moe.

The elementary stage of the moe-blob’s development is critical.  It’s at this time they are introduced to non-family members and their moe traits begin to develop.  Experimenting in the differences of their raising cycle, some more carefree, some more scared, and some with bigger foreheads – it’s at this time differences are noticed and the moe blob begins to develop.

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Two related blobs together.

As high school begins the moe blob becomes more dependant on it’s family, but it’s parental unit like when they were a young blob – but rather those who understand their situation and they can identify with.  For a moe blob, having an imouto is incredibly valuable as it will increase the radiance of their moe at any given time.

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HNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

It is important not to approach the moe blob as extreme levels of moe could end your life.  My companion died when being experienced to this level of moe, and observing these creatures is not for everyone.  I required a triple moe-bypass surgery and experimental-levels of GAR antidote to not die myself when seeing this scene.

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Moeblob searching for fur.

In addition to family closeness, cute outfits are important for the moe blob as well.  Anything that can maximize your cuteness naturally attracts a moeblob, but they do not seem to be aware of it themselves.

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Ovar 9000 ;_;

It is important for the moe blob to dress up for occasion and attract male fanboys.  Though, they never take notice of them and usually rely on their fellow moe blobs for scale gauge of moe.  Regardless, as aforementioned – the most moe characters are never aware of how moe they actually are.

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Fully-Grown Moe Blob

Fully-grown moe blobs often try to associate with more prime moe blobs, and develop odd tendencies to make up for lack of moe.  While they are capable MILFs, they pale in comparison to the moeblob, but are capable of producing moe blobs.  Stay away from overgrown moe blobs as they are usually quite insane and will never marry.

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Highschool moeblob

After Highschool the moe blob’s moe drops considerably, so these are considered their peak years.  Fortunately, we can observe them every week BUT NO ONE’S GOING TO WATCH K-ON THIS WEEK BECAUSE HARUHI SEASON 2 IS OUT FUCK YES!!!!

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9 Responses to “Documentary: The Evolution of the Moe Blob [Orange Farm Archive]”


  1. May 23, 2009 at 11:15 PM

    1. Where do you go to recover from triple-moe-bypass surgery?
    2. MILF? I was in High School eight years ago. T.T
    3. Haruhi season 2 is only out in fits and spurts (unless you include the rebroadcasts), so there is plenty of room for K-ON!.
    4. As I explained before… MY LOVE IS A STAPLER!
    5. I will marry you, Sawa-chan! We can have children! You can dress them up ALL OF THE TIME. It will be great! Please! Please? Waaaaah!!! T.T

  2. May 25, 2009 at 7:48 AM

    You need to spend time in Gensokyo’s Automatic Rehabilitation center. Or, GAR.

    And actually I think it’ll only be out in fits and spurts for a couple weeks…should be every week once summer season starts.

  3. 3 Ssuusshhii
    May 25, 2009 at 10:05 AM

    I know what I’m gonna be when I grow up.

    A moe-blob exterminator.

  4. 4 Moe-Mon
    June 7, 2009 at 10:28 AM

    ah who cares about harushi, for me K-ON is all I need for Moe.
    K-ON has more simple story, rather than the bizarre theories of harushi

  5. September 11, 2009 at 8:26 AM

    Moeblobs can be quite dangerous as I can most certainly attest to. Despite having quite a strong constitution, I have on several occasions been nigh reduced to unconsciousness by extremely high levels of moe radiation. Alas, the poor moeblobs can scarcely conceive of the terrible power they possess. That such has not been discovered by them is verily a boon to humanity. If the moeblob were to unleash it’s potential, mankind would fall before their terrible might. What’s that? They already have?-Nevermind.

  6. 6 komidol
    September 13, 2009 at 2:31 AM

    @.@ Moe Moe Moe Moe

  7. 7 komidol
    April 18, 2010 at 10:51 PM

    Looking back at this post, I was trolled so fucking hard by KyoAni…


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